back in the box

note:

haven't posted in awhile, cuz i kinda got stuck in a post-holiday funk, feeling lonely and messy inside and trapped in an internal world of chaos and needing to BREAK OUT. didn't quite know what to write about, how much to say, so in my down time, i took to my jigsaw puzzle instead of my computer.

that puzzle i bought on new year's day for the family to do? it turned out to be pretty much a solo endeavor, which was actually okay by me. i usually worked on it for about an hour in the evening while alan played "guitar hero" with one of the girls. (i do like to take my turn, but after awhile the house starts sounding like an aracade, and i feel like i'm going to lose my soul, and so i have to remove myself.)

there was something so soothing about retreating to our quiet, dim dining room to study all the pieces' shapes and slight variations of color, trying to figure out where each piece belonged, celebrating as each piece found its place. (there's an obvious metaphor here, i know.) it's been two weeks now since i started the puzzle. i finished it right before i got to break out--by myself--for a three night trip to vancouver and eugene, but i couldn't bear to tear it down. it was just still so freshly put together, and, after all that work, i think i needed it (me?) to stay together for awhile.

i got home from my adventure at midnight sunday night. the trip was full of so many wonderful experiences, delightful people and great conversations. i came home fully rejeuvenated, heart full and mind stimulated.

and monday morning, still in my pajamas, i walked into the dining room, rubbed a hand over the smooth surface of the puzzle, smiled, grabbed sections of the puzzle in chunks and let the pieces crumble between my fingers and land back in the box.

my puzzle, back in the box