the first batch of walnut balls

you know what i'm talking about. those little cookie balls covered with powered sugar. i made my first batch yesterday, and when the first walnut ball, still warm from the oven, began to melt on my tongue, i felt like it was truly Christmas.

when i was growing up, my mom made these cookies every year at Christmas. she called them "russian teacakes." i married a man whose mother made them every Christmas too. so for our family, making walnut balls is practically genetic. but, strangely, i just started making them myself last year, and now i'm wondering why i have waited so long.

it's not that russian teacakes are so difficult to make. they are made of the most basic, pure ingredients of Christmas --butter, powdered sugar and finely chopped walnuts, with a little flour to hold everything together. you roll the dough into little balls and set them close together on the cookie sheet and bake them, slowly, until they're just about to be barely browned. and then, when they're still warm, you roll them in powdered sugar, and there you have them.

so why have i been so daunted? it's because deep down i think that such delectable confections cannot come from me, a person of such inexperience, that only the well-worn hands of seasoned bakers can produce such delicious magic. it's as if my mother and mother-in-law each pack their 70-plus years of wisdom, nurture, patience and grace into each walnut ball, so that the dough itself is flavored and textured with these ingredients of rich character.

i'm not sure what has given me the gumption to start making them myself. maybe because at forty-four, i have started to feel like a real grown-up, and feel like it's safe to find out whether or not i can make the magic. or maybe it's because time is running out, our girls are growing up, and i want to be sure that walnut balls at Christmas, the martin-hedrick dominant shortbread gene, will get passed down to the next generation.

whatever the reason, yesterday i made the first batch of walnut balls for the season. they tasted great to me. but, honestly, i can't tell whether or not they have the magic. only my daughters can tell.