our tessa, whom we call "toe tee" (at the moment) turned 16 on june 16th. her birth was a special joy, because not only was she a gift to us, but with excited two-year-old and four-year-old sisters waiting for her at home, i felt that we were presenting them a new lifelong friend.
it actually started before we brought her home. she was probably only ten minutes old when the door opened and in walked these two beaming little girls who promptly climbed up on the small delivery room bed, and began their gentle stoking of her cheeks, their tender kisses on the head, faces filled with a beautiful mixture of awe and "pride of ownership."
(later i learned that all the way down the hospital hallway, two-year-old lauren kept asking, "is he out yet, is he out yet?")
the next memory i have is of us coming home from the hospital and letting the girls hold tessa for the first time in their own house. we brought her home when she was less than twenty-four hours old. we got her sisters all situated on the couch, propped tessa's head up at just the right angle in the crook of lornie's little arm. and then it happened. lornie sneezed. i looked at the baby, and there it was. a little blob of snot had whipped out of lornie's mouth and landed...landed...yes folks, on tessa's mouth. our brand new baby, still wet with amniotic fluid behind the ears, had her sister's snot on her sweet little newborn baby lips.
what can you do? this would be her life, i decided. she would live in a household of two pre-school sisters and all the germs that they carry, and by God's grace, she would survive.
and 16-years later, it's not the germs i worry about anymore. she got her driver's license this week, so it's the 2-ton vehicles that will drive on the road next to her, across from her, all around her.
but i know that this is my life. the life of a mother. the daily practice of letting go, each step of the way--entrusting her to the God who formed her in my womb, who had her days numbered before one of them came to be.
tessa i celebrate your life, your 16 years in our family. you have so many wonderful gifts to use for God's glory, and you bring us all great joy. i pray God's protection on you as you start driving. and i pray God's grace on me to remind me that you are His.
adri and tessa, one day shy of 16
2 comments:
amazing what details make their lasting impressions upon our minds! Bless you, jerb, as you celebrate your tessa elise (such beautiful name...poetic!) and as you practice 'holding' her with your hands open!
How well I remember when Tessa came home from the hospital. Memories of her life have flodded my mind as she turns 16, and we have to turn her over to the California highways. She's precious to us, and the world is such a better place because of her!
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